Dream Time

Whatever you can do or dream you can

Begin it!

Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.

                                                                                              -Goethe 

The 2012 Ubud Reader's and Writer's Festival has come and gone. The individual writers, the panels, and the influx of ideas from all over the world were inspirational or thought provoking or both. 

At the 2007 festival, a writer said, "If you want to write, get published anyway you can." He lit a fire. For years I'd dreamed to do a cookbook with one page in English and the facing page in Indonesian. Within a month this writer's words moved me to start 'Food Glorious Food', a recipe column in the Bali Advertiser. I view the column as my dream cookbook - two recipes a month.  

And now at this year's event bloggers stirred my inspiration to start a blog based on twelve years experiences as a caregiver for my husband with Alzheimer's Disease. I've been thinking of doing this for a couple of years but questioned if I had anything to add to the very good blogs already on the web. 

This is another creative outlet plus we caregivers need to read each others stories. It's my hope that 'Alz World' will give added support.

You can check it out at: 

http://alzworld-susantereba.blogspot.com

Driven to create and live my dreams, I hope others will be inspired to live theirs. 

Benediction

I've just returned from the States. It was my first time there in many years during the last-of-peach-season-warmth.  I usually go in the winter for the Tucson Gem and Mineral Show. This time I luxuriated in copious amounts of nectarines, plucots, figs and, of course run-down-your-arm juicy ripe peaches. These are the things I miss living in Bali.

I went to attend a wedding, and because it was still warm, to empty my storage trailer- too cold to deal with in winter. It was time to face what I'd been dreading - the deconstruction of my old life with my soul mate, Bob, now living deep in the state of Alzheimer's Disease.

I knew for years that he would never use the three generations of tools stored there, or wear the packed away clothes, or admire my art work that used to mystify him. "How do you come up with these images?" Mr. Plain Vanilla would query with each new painting.

For years I avoided dealing with the inevitable pain that would come with this clearing out. It had niggled at the back of my mind until finally the emotional weight of the objects contained in the trailer tipped the balance and wouldn't leave me in peace.

Found buried in my art drawers were colored pencil drawings that were clearly mine but strangely I had no recollection creating them. Nestled in the pages of their notebook was a card from Bob written in Malaysia in the early 90's.  It said, "I love you and our life together. I'll follow you to islands and places till I drop in my tracks. When I do drop, please don't stop traveling your path. I'm enjoying finding my path, growth, awakening with you. Love, Bob."

It felt like this card was a blessing to move on, to dissolve the old life, knowing the memories of the love we shared would always remain. That love inspires me to do my best to make his life lived behind the curtain of Alzheimer's as comfortable as possible and now with this treasured benediction to sashay down my own path opening to new possibilities.