Through Darkness to Light

My last blog entry was in January 2014. I went to the States, did my shows, and returned to Bali. My husband passed away three days later. He’d been suffering from Alzheimer’s for fourteen years and then he was free. I felt he waited for me to return. 

Our Early Bali Years

Bob’s death affected me more than I expected. I’d been grieving his loss all those years of the disease and thought this final piece wouldn’t be so difficult. I was wrong.

I stopped writing my two blogs and concentrated on my book, Piece by Piece – Love and the Land of Alzheimer’s. It’s finally finished (for the third time) and now comes the hard work – getting it published whether that is traditionally through an established publisher or doing it myself.  I’m querying publishers and at the same time preparing to self-publish. We’ll see which direction I’m steered in. 

Working with Milly

Two days after Bob’s memorial and the scattering of his ashes off the east coast of Bali, a just hatched all-black baby chicken wandered into our yard.  She quickly claimed me and my staff as her flock and settled in to grow into a healthy hen.  During that time Milly’s favorite perch was the computer monitor and when she became too heavy for that we built her a desk perch. Milly became the house clown making me laugh and bringing light to an often dark year.

In all her Glory

Creativity is always a joy for me - but marketing a challenge. Since the only shows I do for my jewelry are in February at Tucson, my pieces are in storage for the rest of the year. This is a waste of time and space but previously I didn’t have the energy to deal with it AND care for Bob. Finally a solution evolved. 

A lovely young woman, Ariana Schwartz, is now working with me to promote my creations on Etsy through Face Book, Instagram and Pinterest. We are just getting started but you can see my Etsy Shop at: https://www.etsy.com/shop/SusanTereba. We’ll be putting on a lot more pieces up in the next month. 

Ariana, an award winning costume and clothing designer, artist and teacher, is a joy to work with. You can check her out at: https://www.facebook.com/ariana.schwartz?fref=photo

You can follow me on Instagram at: https://instagram.com/susan.tereba where I’ll post process photos and how inspiration blossoms for me. Or on Face Book at: https://www.facebook.com/susan.tereba

I continue to develop new designs in mammoth tusk, jet, Indonesian hard woods, bone and a few new materials such as tagua nut and soap stone.  And I’m still enamored with the painted bone pieces pushing myself to explore new color combinations.

I promise not to take a year to write another post so check in now and again to see what’s brewing at World on a String.

On Fire

I leave Bali in five days for the shows in Tucson. Naturally I’m trying to get as many pieces as possible finished before I go. Down at my painting studio I have four bone pieces in various stages of painting and many more waiting to be started. I hope to have a big enough collection of these time consuming pieces, to make an impression.

I am enthralled with this new direction. The creative process has revved up and so it’s difficult to leave it when the energy is thrilling.  When I return to Bali in two months, I know I won’t be able to just jump into it again but will have to reenter slowly.  That’s the way the process works for me.

I’ve learned a lot in the last year and know I’ve just scratched the surface.  I see other people coloring bone today so it’s not unique.  In fact the Ancient Greeks colored ivory carvings as did the Chinese, Japanese, and Gothic Europeans.  But coloring already beautiful mammoth tusk seems a sacrilege and so I use the white of bone as my canvas. And I hope what I do will be different from others.

My Beading Table with Two Projects in Waiting

Sometimes I wake at night with color schemes dancing across my imagination.  I pray they’ll still be there when I get up in the morning.  This is what I live for - to be on fire with creativity.  I lie awake and think of the beads I’ll string a piece with and new ideas pop in and out of consciousness. 

For some reason it seems I’m at the height of creativity just before I have to leave it all and fly somewhere else. Is it coincidence? Or is the approaching departure stirring the pot of ideas with now or never?  All I know is that I’ll be back down at the painting studio tomorrow morning to complete the four waiting pieces.

How does this work for you?

Tucson

Our Show Announcement for Tucson 2014

After a serious ear infection and the holidays I’m finally back in my studio trying to finish up last minute projects for the Tucson Shows at the end of the month. 

Plagued by anxiety over getting it all done on time, I had a massage and realized, what will get done will get done and there will always be more to do.  

A relaxation happened then and I felt I could wrap up, pack up, and get ready for the shows. After all, I’ve been doing this for over twenty years and it always works out just fine.    

If you are in the neighborhood of Tucson at the end of January and beginning of February, here are the details of where we will be:     

World on a String

Besides mammoth and jet we’ll be showing our new carvings in wood and hand painted carved bone.  I was a watercolorist long before a jewelry designer and I’ve been longing to return to color.  After a couple years of experimenting I’ve finally found the right combination to bring these painted pieces alive.

Please come and see our new designs as well as old favorites at both of our shows and visit our web site: www.susantereba.com.  

                                                                 

Arizona Pueblo Inn Gem Show

At Riverpark Inn

               350 S. Freeway, Tucson, AZ         

    Friday, January 31 - Feb.12, 2014

      10 am to 6 pm

      Pavilion Tent Space #71 (new spot!) 

    Gem and Jewelry Exchange Show

                              198 South Granada in downtown Tucson

 Tuesday, Feb 4 - Feb.9, 2014

                                            10 am to 6 pm

Booth number #334 

 

The Thread

 Kerry Pendergrast

We lost a unique multi-talented creative spirit in Ubud this week. Kerry Pendergrast, an artist, poet, singer, mother and wife left us and the planet unexpectedly. As I thought about Kerry today, I remembered that in the twenty or so years I’ve known her, I’ve never heard her say a bad word about anyone.

Her bawdy earthy powerful voice entertained us with song, while her delicate pastels layered with vibrant colors turned simple landscapes into sparkling gems. She also painted in oils, acrylics, watercolors and did lively line drawings. Our community is shaken by this loss, but her creativity lives on in the art work she produced. She will continue to inspire.

"Temple at Tengkulak" by Kerry Pendergrast

Creativity. It comes from beyond us and continues without us. It’s a thread that connects one artist to another one generation to those in front and behind it. To be radically connected is a gift without equal. And when one is flowing with it, being swept along in the current, something magical happens.  All time stops, all troubles disappear, and there is only This.

I feel such gratitude to be able to express what comes through me. It feeds on itself and gathers momentum the more I open to it. I have in front of me as I write a collection of our latest designs in wood, bone, mammoth tusk, lapis and opal. Some pieces are works in progress others are complete and waiting to be strung into necklaces, set into silver as pins, simply put on a cable or readied for stock for Tucson, coming up at the beginning of February.

Work in Progress

All this creativity in a heap on the table inspires me to push on and delve deeper into the well.  And I feel intense gratitude that I’ve been able to live the whole of my adult life doing this work in whatever medium inspires in the moment.

Kerry also had a creative life and lived her life creatively. Her legacy will live beyond her physical presence through her work and her two beautiful children, although I’ll miss her on the dance floor boogying by herself or with a partner, male or female. 

You can see more of Kerry's work here: http://www.age.jp/~pranoto/kerry/pastel/014.html

The Heart Smile

My Painting Table

Sometimes I’m sitting in my painting studio (as opposed to my beading studio) and my heart starts smiling. No really, I can feel it in my chest - a sort of expansion that goes beyond ribs and muscle and skin.  This deep down connection with creativity is like anticipation that something joyful is about to happen. This also happens in the beading studio but I share that with my assistant and am rarely there alone. This ‘heart smile’ comes with solitude.

I see artist’s studios as sacred spaces.  Like Merlin we conjure up the unknown and bring it into this world in whatever medium we work, whether it’s painting, drawing, sculpture, music, dance, writing, or other creative pursuits.  Time disappears, we step away, and magic happens through us.  

I used to need my studio to be neat. In fact that need could overtake the desire to create. It became an excuse to not face my fear of blank white paper.  It was a buffer between my desire to get my vision out through my hands with paints or pencils or pastels onto the art paper and the actual doing of it, which was often scary.  What if I can’t do it? What if I’ve lost the ability? What if I create crap? Or worse - What if I waste time?

Now with less hours available to be in either studio - the business of  selling jewelry takes up more time than the doing - the neat nick has stepped back. That is until my work table is just too crowded to use and I have to call her back.

Better Call In the Neat Nick!

Today the ‘heart smile’ came as I opened the door to my home/office after a two hour session in the painting studio.  I just felt happy!  I’d started mixing new colors - colors I have rarely used and it was thrilling. 

If you’ve been reading this blog you know my new medium is carved bone - carvings I design and have carved by my team of inspired and expert Balinese carvers. I then apply color to them.  It took over a year of research but I’ve finally found the type of paints to use to get the feeling I envision.

Today I mixed violet and gamboge yellow in various proportions to get colors that tickled me - made me joyous.  That joy now enhances a sea horse and I can even see the beads that will go with him!  Ah the ‘heart smile’ again or is that a grin?

Recycling Art

My husband, Bob, is in late stage Alzheimer’s. He’s cared for by four Balinese men in a cottage not far from my house.  He usually eats facing a wall instead of out into the garden because of the way his table is situated.  This had been bothering me for awhile. I wanted him to have something to look at when he eats since he’s now fed, having lost the ability to do it himself.

I have some serigraphs made long ago (these are original artist’s hand made prints) and had brought some here to Bali to cut in half for painting on the unused side.  Two survived the dissection and as of a week ago one now graces Bob’s dining wall. 

I wondered if he would even notice the print entitled, “The Mountains Admiring the Clouds”, with mountains shaped like faces looking at clouds shaped like animals and people. When I look at it now I shutter at my choice of colors for this piece created in 1980.  It’s too happy, too bright, too innocent, and not the way I would paint it today with a more sophisticated palette and a different vision.

When I stopped in to see Bob yesterday, the caregiver was feeding him. Bob was intently studying the new art work on the wall. He talked about it as though the characters were alive and he was surprised to hear that I had created it.  During the time I was with him he wouldn’t let me turn his wheelchair to face the garden. He was fascinated by the art piece.

"The Mountains Admiring the Clouds"

“Where’s the fish?” he asked. I honestly hadn’t really looked at the serigraph in years. After studying it I found a fish in the clouds, “There it is Bob. It’s an angel fish.”  “Who’s that woman?” he asked pointing to a female profile emerging from a unicorn’s tail. He asked lots of questions which mostly I didn’t understand. A lot of what Bob says makes little sense these days plus he speaks very softly. 

I left Bob’s house thrilled to know this discarded work of mine is doing some good, is brightening my husbands life, and giving him something to talk about. It’s peculiar as an artist, that often pieces I don’t like for one reason or another still speak to someone else. It’s as though they have a life of their own.  And this piece with it’s garish colors and simplistic theme is no exception. It speaks to Bob and its a way in, to connect with him again.

I have many prints left from this addition plus two other editions of other themes and all three share the qualities of innocence and simplicity.  I’ve wondered what to do with them since I’m not in the business of selling two dimensional art any longer.  Perhaps I can donate them to nursing homes, hospitals, and schools where they can be used to inspire youth and touch hearts fenced in by age and disease.  That’s all I ever wanted from my work - to touch people’s hearts.   

A Special Order

I’ve been away for almost a month having a real vacation in California with my sister- eating oysters and drinking Prosecco to my heart’s content.  I thought I’d continue to write my blogs but of course vacation mentality grabbed hold and I never seemed to find the inspiration. 

Marigold Buddha with Koi

Home now in lovely Bali, I’m surrounded by a luxurious garden and my rainbow of koi fish flashing about the pond. I arrived to flower petal hearts on the doormat and vases bulging with white roses, chrysanthemums and night jasmine placed around the house. The garden Buddha had been polished and festooned with marigolds for the occasion.  

My staff  has always taken good care of me but still after all these years it’s a surprise to be so welcomed. I love to go away and see new places or revisit old favorites and I love to come home - who wouldn’t with a welcome like this?

In California I’d had a few errands to run before vacation mentality got too strong. One was to mail a very special order. Seven months before I’d received this e-mail:

I hope you can help me! A year ago my husband bought me..as a wedding gift, a goddess necklace. It was a beautifully carved fossilized ivory goddess about 2 and a half inches long. It was a soft brownish color.The beads were lapis, ivory and gold (Id rather have silver). It came unclasped when I was wearing it and I LOST it...I cried for weeks as it was perfectly ME and such a loving gift. I just thought after a YEAR to try to find you! Duh.....I lost it a week after my mother died so I’m all tied up about this whole thing. Could you possibly make me another one?

-Sally

I love a challenge like this. And to do a special piece just for the person who'll wear it, gets my creativity thrashing, often leaving sleep out of reach.  Sally and I had many exchanges over the seven months it took to recreate her necklace.  I did several carvings trying to get the right color and feel.  I also did a few beading designs, emailing photos to her until we got just the perfect color and composition for the Goddess.

When Sally received her necklace she emailed immediately:

One Beading Idea

OH! I got the goddess this morning! SHE is gorgeous. I like the colors even better than the first one. This goddess is perfect. And you have improved the clasp. This one will NEVER fall off.

This arrived just in time for our Third Anniversary and it was a Wedding gift to me in the first place. Thank you SO MUCH>>>and keep me on your mailing list. please.

LOVE Sally

This is one of the reasons why I love my work. It feels like a gift and an honor to bring joy and beauty into someone’s life. These opportunities don’t come frequently but when they do and when they click, as this one did, I’m ultra-inspired to keep going, keep creating (as though I had a choice) and to be even more thankful for the life I lead. 

Thank you, Sally!